You’ve probably wanted to know what someone was thinking hundreds of times, so let us teach you how to read people’s minds. Knowing what a person thinks can help you better understand them, attract someone you like, sell, betray criminals, and a variety of other benefits and drawbacks.
Learning how to read people’s minds, men or women, is not something magical, although the conclusions reached must be drawn with caution. In general, the more experience you have and the more observant and curious you are, the more you will succeed in reading the thoughts of others.
On the other hand, reading the mind is not knowing the exact content of what someone thinks. Unless you have a developed sixth sense – telepathy – you won’t hear someone’s voice in your head.
It’s about observing people’s behavior and inferring how they feel, their emotions, what mood they are in, and what they may be thinking. In addition, the context will also be important. Depending on the situation, some thoughts will be more likely than others.
I will explain several tricks taken from the research that I have found. I have even compiled several tips given by Jack Shafer, an FBI agent!
In principle, its effectiveness is scientifically proven, although as I have said before, it is difficult to draw conclusions and experience and context must be taken into account.
You already read the mind, even if you don’t know it.
You already have certain talents to know what others think, what they will think, and forecast behaviors, whether you realize it or not.
We wouldn’t be able to handle social circumstances or form personal relationships with others if we didn’t have the ability to understand other people’s feelings or thoughts.
In truth, the theory of mind is a capacity that develops between the ages of 3 and 4, and it relates to the ability to assign other people’s thoughts and intentions.
When a person has honed this skill, he is able to comprehend and reflect on his own and other people’s mental states.
According to researcher William Ickes of the University of Texas, strangers can “read” each other with 20% accuracy, and friends and couples with 35% accuracy. The people who have developed this capacity the most reach up to 60%.
How to Read People’s Mind
#1. Start understanding who you are.
How would you know what other people are like if you don’t know yourself? Knowing what other people think and feel is a two-way street, not a one-way street.
To begin, you must first understand how you feel in each moment, your inner state, which is referred to as interception.
You will be able to recognize your mood the more self-aware you are. And you or your interlocutor could be the cause of that mood.
Negative emotions are conveyed considerably more than positive emotions, and this is a technique of knowing how the person you’re speaking with is feeling.
Have you talked to someone who has transmitted “good vibes” to you? Or have you talked to someone who has transmitted tension or negative emotions?
It is because of the emotional contagion. The more you know your mental state, the better you will know that of others.
Something that can help you is mindfulness or meditation, techniques that allow you to know your “inner world.”
To finish this section, remember that you will not know what the other person thinks without interacting, that would be parapsychology.
Therefore, you will have to interact by participating. In this case, there are ways that are more positive than others:
- Good: It seems that you feel something sad about this. Am I wrong?
- Wrong: I know what you think / I know how you feel.
#2. Read lips
This section of the lips is due to the experience of FBI agent Jack Shafer.
Slightly purse your lips
A slight pursing of your lips communicates disagreement with your interlocutor. The greater the intensity, the bigger the discord.
The person’s pursed lips indicate that he or she has formed an opposing thought to what is being stated or done.
If you’re trying to persuade someone, for example, one tactic is to “alter your mind” before you get a chance to express your disagreement verbally.
When a person expresses his opinion aloud, changing his opinion is very difficult due to the psychological principle known as consistency.
Maintaining a position causes much less psychological stress than making decisions continuously, whatever the arguments.
Observing when your interlocutor bites his lips is another approach to “read the mind.” It consists of a gentle lower or upper lip bite.
This gesture indicates that the person wants to speak something but is afraid to; People usually don’t say what they think because they are afraid of offending others.
You’ll be able to communicate more successfully if you know what your partner or friends are afraid to say. One technique is to empathize with what you believe causes worry.
- You: So you think we should spend more time together
- He/she: No, I would like you to help me more at home
This occurs when the upper and lower lip comes together, sealing the mouth and darkening the lips. This compression has a meaning to bite your lips, although it has a more negative meaning.
Someone wants to say something but presses their lips to avoid saying it. You can encourage a crime suspect to testify with a simple empathic statement:
“So you have something to say, but you don’t want to talk about it.”
Some tricks of this section:
- If you see pursed lips, “change the mind” of the person before he articulates his objections
- If you see lips bitten or pressed, use an empathetic statement to discover why the person is anxious about what you are saying.
#3. Work empathy
You are not connecting with other people’s emotions if you are using your brain to think about the future, the past, or your difficulties.
Your empathy, or how your mind reads other people’s feelings, is suppressed. And you have the ability, even if you aren’t aware of it.
Today’s university students, according to Sara Konrath of the University of Michigan, show 40% less empathy than those in 1980 and 1990.
Despite the fact that empathy is often overlooked, everyone can learn to develop and use it.
Your brain is empathic; neurons known as “mirror neurons” are triggered when you witness another individual do an activity.
In addition to socializing, these neurons have an important role to connect with other people’s emotions and intentions.
Has it happened to you that you are walking down the street, you find someone, and when you try to move away, you decide to go in the same direction, blocking the road?
This is because your mirror neurons mimic the behavior of the other person until your brain can process the information and perform the opposite movement.
According to Christian Keysers of the University of Groningen, when you see that a spider is climbing up the leg of something, you feel a sense of fear or disgust.
Similarly, when you observe that your football or basketball team loses or wins, you feel their emotions, as if you were there.
Social emotions such as guilt, shame, disgust, pride, or lust can be experienced by observing others.
To increase your empathy follow these steps:
Live the present:
the quieter your brain is (of thoughts about the past or future), the more you can hear your emotions and those of the other person. Meditation is a good practice. Practice observing people and the environment without thinking about other things.
Watch and listen:
you can watch movies that tell dramatic or humorous stories of people. Being absorbed in the life of another strengthens the connections of your emotional brain. Even better is in a theater. However, the best way is to meet acquaintances, friends or family and listen face to face, without interference, paying full attention.
3 Ask yourself what you are feeling:
Practicing your awareness of yourself will improve what you have about others. This requires you to wonder what you are feeling. Stand 3-4 times a day and ask yourself: how do I feel? What emotion do I have right now? Also, find out in which areas of the body you feel the emotions. For example, if you have anxiety or fear, where do you feel them? On the chest? Arms? Neck?
4 Test your instinct:
If you are talking to someone, tell them the emotions you are experiencing or try to find out what he/she is experiencing. For example, if you see that your friend is animated, tell him: “You look very animated, has something good happened to you, eh?” Always with tact and much more if you think you are sad or discouraged.
#4. Eye contact
Sight is the most important sense in human being.
So much is the importance of the eyes when interacting with other people, that according to a study from the University of Miami 43.4% of the attention we give to another person focuses on their eyes.
From the eyes of a person, you can infer what he is thinking or plotting. In this article, you can learn more about this topic.
Emotions towards another person can alter the frequency of blinking.
Flashing more than 6 to 10 times per minute can be a sign that this person is attracted to their interlocutor.
In addition, blinking more may indicate that the person feels nervous.
Since 1980, in the presidential debates, the person who has blinked the most has lost.
People raise their eyebrows when they want to be better understood.
He also points out sympathy, empathy, and desire to get along with the other person.
Squinting means suspicion or disbelief and is a gesture that is often unconscious.
A lot has been written about the direction in which they look at the eyes since the NLP began to be known.
According to this communication model, looking to the left indicates that something is being remembered.
On the other hand, looking to the right indicates that thoughts or images are being generated, which some interpret as lying, although I would take it with great caution.
Note: with left-handed people, it is the other way around.
Eckhard Hess found in 1975 that the pupils dilate when a person is interested in someone.
Also, the pupils contract when we perceive situations that dislike us. Dilation: the size of the pupil grows. Contraction: pupil size decreases.
-The more difficult a mental activity, the more the pupils dilate. However, if the mental activity is too much, the pupils contract.
-They dilate when we experience pain.
In flirting and seduction it seems that there is a consensus that:
-If you start the contact and the other person does not respond, you may not be interested.
If you keep looking at her after he/she looks away or refuses to look, you will make her feel uncomfortable.
-If you start eye contact, the other person will probably feel welcome and respond positively.
-The boys can consider the following: 1) If a girl looks you in the eye, then looks down and finally returns to your eyes, surely be interested, 2) If you break the eye contact and look aside, no there is nothing certain and 3) if you look up after making eye contact, you are probably not interested.
-For girls who want to seduce with their eyes: a man needs on average, three looks from a girl to begin to realize that he feels interested.
Rich people, of high status or who want to show superiority, tend to maintain less eye contact.
Looking elsewhere in a conversation is another way of expressing superiority.
-Avoid eye contact
Avoiding looking into someone else’s eyes can be a sign of feeling ashamed for some reason.
Also, avoiding contact with another person often means being angry with them.
Flashing more may indicate that the person feels nervous. Since 1980, in the presidential debates, the person who has blinked the most has lost.
Emotions towards another person can alter the frequency of blinking. Flashing more than 6 to 10 times per minute may be a sign that this person is attracted to their interlocutor
You also have to keep in mind that the contact time depends on the culture. For example, in New York, 1.68 seconds is perceived as an acceptable time.
The “Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test (RMET) is a test developed by psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen of the University of Cambridge with which you can improve your ability to” read minds. “
You can do the test here.
#5. Other key nonverbal language
Did you know that nonverbal language determines 93 percent of the efficacy of human communication?
Our communication’s influence and impact are determined by:
- Nonverbal communication accounts for 55% of all communication.
- Paralinguistic factors account for 38% of the total.
- 7% of the content is spoken.
Here are some things to think about when it comes to this subject:
Touching your nose and covering your mouth:
according to this signal, people would tend to cover their mouths and touch their nose while they lie. It could be due to an increase in adrenaline in the capillaries of the nose. On the other hand, putting your hands near your mouth would aim to cover the lies.
is when a person looks for something around him something or his body moves restlessly. It is assumed that by telling a lie, anxiety would occur that would be released with physical movements, compulsively touching a part of the body, etc. It is about observing if the behavior is different from how the person normally behaves.
by telling a lie, the person could pause while talking to find what to say.
a person who lies may swallow constantly.
The expression is limited to the mouth:
When someone falsifies emotions (happiness, surprise, sadness …) only moves the mouth instead of the entire face: jaw, eyes, and forehead.
They are people’s facial expressions that are practically undetectable because they appear in a fraction of a second. Some people are able to detect them, but the majority are not. Microexpression would be a stress emotion in a person who lies, defined by raised brows and expression lines on the forehead.
It takes a lot of knowledge to be able to recognize all of the nonverbal indications.
If you are interested in more information, I recommend you Subscribe to our email notification for the coming articles On:
- How to know if someone lies.
- Nonverbal language tricks.
And what other ways do you know on how to read people’s mind? See you later!